Q&A Series #1 with Payton Dwight
Athlete #1: Payton Dwight
P2P Challenge: Lisbon to the Black Sea
“We loove climbin”
Questions by Mike Mata (Director of Mental Performance)
SPP topics explored: joy, motivation, mastery, mental skills, mantras, self-talk, resilience, self-efficacy, preparation, self-confidence, perspective, chunking tasks, controllables, visualization, present-moment-focus, beginner’s mind, openness, compassion, purpose, empathy, self-as-context.
Mike - Why this ride and why now?
Payton - “Yeah it was time, I mean, two years had passed since we did the US the last time, and I get very antsy you know, like after doing that first trip and realizing how epic that was and enjoying that experience I just want more and more of that (joy). And so like once a year is a good taste, and it had been two years, and I was feeling that itch (motivation) and it was just time to get back on the horse… and Europe was kinda the natural next calling I’d say. A lot of miles to zoom… just kind of another stepping stone as we continue to tag and bag all of the continents (mastery)… it was ripe, ripe for the picking.”
Mike - What mental skill did you find most useful during the ride? i.e. Self talk, focus, visualization, breathwork, discipline, overcoming obstacles, etc.
Payton - A big part of it was using some of the tools that we had built on the prior trip. We have this whole string of one line quotes (mantras) that we use, little maxim’s I would say, little truths… Drew would say “it’s not the truth it’s just a truth.” Stuff like “hesitate devastate,” “this too shall pass.” On a rainy day you’d say that to yourself. Just simple things you’d say to remind yourself (self-talk)… The first trip (US Trip 21’) I had a lot to learn for myself I would say… being exposed to that, we call it the ‘crackening’ like a bone being cracked, when it comes back, it comes back stronger. So there were a lot of situations where I had to embrace that and come back stronger (resilience). There were very difficult situations, but they weren’t stressful if that makes sense… I have the tools to solve them, I have the tools to get it done (self-efficacy). So I would rely on those lessons I’ve learned, those one-liners…there’s no option, you’re gonna get it done. What’re you gonna stop biking? That’s not an option, so you just gotta wake up and boom em’.
A few more one-liners off the top of my head “hesitate devastate,” if you start getting scared about that eighteen wheeler on your left or the pitbull barking on the right you’re gonna swerve and you’re gonna die… so if you hesitate, it’s trouble… if you start questioning your plans, if you start going “oh maybe I shouldn’t bike til after dark, maybe i shouldn’t go for this push, then you’re just gonna end up wasting time. You just gotta pick something and go with it. You gotta trust the process (preparation). You’ve been here before, you know what it’s like, you know what you’ve gotta do, get it done (self-confidence)… don’t leave anything on the table, because inevitably you’re gonna have those shitty days (perspective).
I’m a big fan of the cafe latte stop to recharge yourself. It’s a nice little treat to look forward to so a lot of times I try to go 30 miles without stopping, and then you reward yourself at that 30 miles with a cliff bar, with a coffee… then it’s like you close your eyes and you’ve done another 30 and you’ve drank another latte, and then you’re booming another 30… then all of a sudden you’re at 120 miles, you drink a latte, and you might do 10 more, and it’s getting a little dark… 10’s easy so why not do 10 more. Then you’re at 140…little increments (chunking tasks). You can reward yourself and have that under your belt… then all of the sudden you’re barking at the moon and you've got 140 down.
Mike - What were the biggest challenges along the way, both physically and mentally? How did you overcome them?
Payton - The hardest part was probably the weather (external; uncontrollable), I would say…yeah it was pretty shitty wind during the muck and mud, and you’re spinning 7 miles an hour, 6 miles an hour average and you start not breaking it down… you start thinking about okay you’ve gotta do 120 at 7 MPH… I’m out here for 13 hours today, you know? But then you just kinda gotta laugh, you gotta shrug it off and be like fuck it… I’m gonna be sitting at work in one month and I'm gonna be begging to be back out here (visualization), so you might as well enjoy the situation… you’re not gonna enjoy the sunny day of easy rotos if you don’t have to go through the shit a little bit, too (perspective).
Learn to love it (mantra). I remember I was in Georgia for my brother’s ranger school graduation and there was this husband and wife sitting next to me and the wife was kinda complaining about how muggy it was, and he looks over to her and says “hey listen, you gotta learn to love it,” and that really stuck with me because if you don’t learn to love it, you’re fucked. So learn to love that mud, chuckle to yourself, like, this is cool, I’m in Romania, I’m in Serbia, I’m in Bulgaria, and I’m biking through potholes, like… this is insane (present-moment-focus). I’m solo, I don’t know the language… I don’t know shit, but I’m gonna keep spinning. I’ve got canned tuna in the backpack, I’ve got a canned latte, I’m gonna pitch a tent; I’m gonna be good.
Mike - What was most surprising or unexpected about the ride? What did this teach you?
Payton - Nothing struck me as super unexpected. There’s a quote by Marcus Aurelius and it goes, “for a man to be surprised by anything is the fault of the man,” because he shouldn’t be surprised by anything, he should expect the unexpected, he should understand that there’s so many possibilities in life… but I suppose I didn’t know what to expect in some of those countries, because it goes back and there’s so much history… and in each country there’s a different way to sustain yourself that you get to learn and that’s pretty fun (beginner’s mind)… you get thrown into the world, and all you can do is just observe and, and kind of soak it in like a sponge (openness). These different experiences, these perspectives. And it's not that you need to do something with those perspectives, those experiences, but you can just cultivate an understanding of the world… it’ll affect your (compassion) for people, what’s important in life, and what you want to deliver to the world (purpose).
Mike - What’s the reaction you get when you tell people you accomplished a feat like that?
Payton - People get it or they don’t get it. If they never biked before, how could you understand what that means? If someone told me they climbed Mt. Everestt that’s dope, but I don’t know what it’s like to do that, I don’t know the prep work, I don’t know the feeling of that cold being drilled into your bones… there’s two layers to it, some people nod their head and you can see that they’re not processing it at all, and then there are some people who have done pretty hardcore stuff, like it may not be the same, right? Like for someone, if they told me they'd climb Mount Everest, I wouldn't be able to relate to that, but I could try to put myself in their shoes and try to understand (empathy), and, you know, kind of process and, and think about what that might be like. So some people do that, and it's really awesome.
Mike - How did this expedition change your “why” (or purpose)? How did it change what is important to you?
Payton - It feels good to be raising money and raising awareness for a purpose much bigger than yourself…if you’re in rehab you don’t get a day off, so I’m not gonna give myself a day off… in terms of purpose, it becomes your life's purpose in the moment, and I think that one of the most rewarding things about doing a trip like that, and it’s not a hyperbole, every single second has a meaning, has a purpose. Any second wasted is a second that I could be getting more than 6 hours of sleep. I’m either fixing the bike, riding the bike, routing, feeding myself, updating the GoFundMe, making a post… there’s not a single second that I can waste. And that’s super rewarding because you get to live the purpose, you’re in the moment, you’re very present.
Mike - How did you get going on the days where motivation was absent?
Payton - Nothing to it but to do it, you know? There’s only one way to answer that question, you gotta turn and burn… bike’s not gonna ride itself. If you give yourself no other option, then there is only one option… what am I gonna die? Or am I gonna pack this tent up, get on the hog, and start turning serious rotations… knock out 7, knock out 5, knock out 3, knock out 10… sippin’ a latte, then you only have 90 miles left on the day, that’s easy.
Mike - How did you work with the feeling of loneliness/boredom along this expedition?
Payton - You know, this last trip I really didn’t get bored, I mean I remember being slightly bored in prior trips, but I think that was due to discomfort that was the illusion of boredom. This time, the experience was so epic, there was no way I could be bored. And some of the things were so trying like that weather… yeah, it was a hoot. And loneliness, you know you spend your whole life with yourself so you better get comfortable (self-as-context). I think it was an awesome time to reflect and truly dive into who you are and build confidence in your decision making… you write the rules when you’re out there solo.
Mike - What would you say would be the main things you learned from this expedition that you'll carry forward?
Payton - I certainly built a lot of confidence in my ability, physically, mentally… over the course of doing these trips I've noticed in response to stressful situations that I certainly got a lot better at remaining calm. A lot of situations that maybe in the past I would've been nervous about, or jumpy about, there's a presence of calm that I've gained, which is really neat to see… And you know all the new perspectives they affect the way that you view things, what’s important in life, how you want to live your life, and just fun memories… it’s really good shit. Hard to articulate, you know?
Mike - What’s next?
Payton - Let’s see, I’ll see what Drew wants to do, he says he wants Mongolia, so I’m down for Mongolia. I think we’re gonna tag them all I would say. Mongolia would be epic, South America is gonna be up pretty soon… I really would like to do Japan, or Thailand as well.
Mike - What else is next?
Payton - A station in all 50 states, that would be good. We’re at 4 states and 11 fitness stations (at the time of this recording)... with something like this, I view the Dawgpatch as something so genuine, and you can’t rush something like that. Drew’s putting in the lord’s work in terms of keeping the ship running. So, there’s a lot to come… for now, these are the good times, going out to the stations yourself and putting them up, it’s a good thing… it’s very tangible.
Check out the 2023 Mental Health Tour: Lisbon to the Black Sea write up for a complete trip report and day to day breakdown.